Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Technique-Fat Folks Flirting 101

I've been back from vacation a week and though work is going well, I'm missing my family and friends that I spent those two weeks with. I went out for a drink with a friend last night to help cheer myself up and there was a cute fellow at the bar who kept shyly smiling at me. It felt like he was interested, but I was talking to my friend and just didn't have the energy to give him the encouragement he needed to come over and say hello. This morning I am somewhat regretting that.

I have what I consider a practically fool-proof method for getting someone* who has a bit of interest to come by when you're out at a bar. I've taught it to a few friends and it's good for when you're looking to meet someone. I find that even if people are interested, they're often too shy to come over without a little bit of encouragement. Some of course are bold enough to just approach or to send a drink your way, but for those that need a little help, this is what I do.

First, look for eye contact. If he's interested he'll be looking your way. If you've had a few of those brief fleeting eye contact moments and he hasn't come by (and you want him to) use The Technique. Now this is uncomfortable for most people at first. It violates a few unspoken social rules but it does so in a way that lets him know clearly that you'll welcome him into a conversation. Try it sometime, it's good to do things that scare you. I've rarely had it fail when I've been bold enough to use it and I've talked many friends through it with great results. I'm kind of known as a great flirt among my friends; they find it amusing.

The next time you catch his eye, hold it for about two seconds. This feels like forever so you may want to count "1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi" in your head (counting it aloud would probably have the opposite effect than what you're looking for ;0). When you get to 2, smile gently. Then raise your chin up in a tiny little nod, bring it back down and turn back to your friend or to another part of the room. When I'm talking a friend through it (it works best if she's turned toward me and he's behind me) I say, "Catch his eye, Hold it... smile... and nod and turn." This often results in the recipient getting the bartender and sending us some drinks or in him coming over immediately to say hello. The smile shows him you're friendly and the little nod gives him a subtle "yes" to approach. Now if all else fails and you're really interested you can always go over and just say hello, but this is a fun way to let him think it was all his idea. I've done this at several different body sizes (including my current size 24) and had it work beautifully so don't let your fat stop you from flirting!

Good luck, let me know if you try it.

*I've only ever tried this with a woman as the one doing the technique but it does work for women attracting men and women attracting women. I'm not sure that it would work in most interactions for a man to attract a woman (it might read as creepy but I'm not sure) I do assume it would work for a man who was interested in another man as well. I've used "he/him/his" in my examples simply because that's often the way I've used this little strategy and I find "he/she" overly clumsy.

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