Date #1

So my first bloggable date was last week. It was a man who had responded to my Craigslist post. He was one of the first to respond and this was what he wrote:

Hey there--I'm also from Los Angeles; 31. Tall, educated, authentic, too.

Let me know if you want to know more--I'd love to know more about you!

A

He also attached a picture. He was quite handsome and I thought that he looked familiar but when I brought that up to him he didn't think I looked familiar to him. We sent a few emails back and forth and got on a chat program. He was witty, charming and quickly asked if I wanted to set up a date.

Now I've done a fair amount of online dating and I have often said that I like to meet early. My theory has been that it saves time and honestly a big part of that is motivated by my insecurity that the man I date is not going to like my body. I'd rather he see it in person sooner, rather than later so if that's going to be an issue we get it out of the way quickly, before I've had time to feel too attached to the idea of him. I have pictures but I'm always afraid they don't really represent me fairly. I'm not sure why that is. I do pick "flattering" pictures generally but I know I don't have a great idea of what my body actually looks like so it's hard to know which ones to send. I'm not sure if this is the best strategy. But I decided to go for it and we quickly set up a plan to meet for a drink at a local bar in three days time.

The next day A contacted me on chat again late in the evening. This time he was more forward and asked me to send some more pictures which I did. He then started throwing in some light innuendo. I playfully rebuffed this and he soon said he had to get to bed. On the third night, the night before our date, we chatted again. He mentioned that he hadn't realized how large my breasts were before the last set of pictures and seemed to get quite fixated on them. He asked me what size brassiere I wear. Now this is an issue that I've had come up before in dating. I don't know if it's more with online dates but it's been a bit of a problem. I know I have large breasts and I know that many men are fascinated by boobs, but I really don't want to talk extensively about my chest at this early stage in the game. Am I wrong to think this is inappropriate?

We bantered back and forth a bit about it. I told him that I didn't want to talk about it and he seemed to get a little bit miffed. He told me that he was worried that we wouldn't be compatible but wouldn't elaborate. I was starting to think that my plan for setting up a date early might have been a mistake, but I wanted to give him a chance.

Date Day:
He sent a message confirming that we were still on and I got ready. I wore my hair curly with trouser leg jeans and my favorite robin's egg blue cardigan. I put on a pair of low heels and pretty makeup. I used a dash of one of my favorite scented oils. I headed out just a few minutes later than I expected but still with plenty of time. We were planning to meet at 8:30 on the patio of a local bar. He texted me as I was driving up that the patio was closed so I called him and we decided to meet inside. I parked and called him. He'd wandered over to another shop but came walking back. He was very tall and he smiled at me from across the street. As soon as I saw him I knew that we had met before.

We had been on an Amazing LA Race tour together a few months ago and we'd chatted with our groups of friends afterward over a few drinks. He didn't recognize me. I pointed out the connection and then he remembered me and that made for some easy conversation as we relived some of the highlights of that day. He had not eaten dinner but I had so he ordered food and I got a glass of wine. Conversation flowed pretty well and I was having a good time.

After dinner he asked what I wanted to do and I suggested we go for a little walk. He hinted at wanting to go by my place but I ignored that. We walked and talked and he again brought up the subject of my breasts and what size bra I wear. I really don't understand this. Why is that important? What made him think it was appropriate first date discussion material? Uggh! Anyone else had these experiences? Like I said above this is not the first time it's happened to me. Are there some of you out there who aren't bothered by this and just kind of roll with it or take a "boys will be boys" attitude?

To be continued...