Sunday, February 10, 2008

But it's Soooo Easy

I've been thinking about this all weekend.

I was sitting at happy hour on Friday with my brother and a co-worker/friend. She was asking me where I plan to go once I finish my PhD and suggested New Zealand. I joked "Nah, they won't take me cuz I'm too fat." and she replied "Well you can fix that easily enough."

Easily fixable? Really? Does she honestly think I would stay 100+ lbs. over weight if it was easily fixable?

She's recently been doing Weight Watchers and has lost a significant amount of weight. She's mentioned to me several times how easy it is. This is of course the first time she's ever been on a plan like this. She just turned 40. I was on my first diet at age 7. Believe me, if it was easy I would have done it. I've dieted many, many times. I've lost over 40 lbs three different times. I've spent thousands of dollars on diet plans, support groups, special foods, and exercise programs. If I could find a way to maintain that kind of weight loss I'd do it in a heartbeat!

Maybe I'm weak. Maybe I'm lazy. I don't know but for me maintaining any kind of weight loss has NEVER been easy. It breaks my heart. I'd give so much to not deal with this struggle but here it is and here I am and it doesn't look like it's going away anytime soon. So as far as I can tell, I've got a few choices. I can continue to try each new diet that comes out, try the diets that worked but didn't stick again or maybe try something different--not focusing on losing weight. Not hating myself for the shape of my body, not beating myself up for every morsel of food that goes into my mough, and celebrating the good things about this body I have.

Yeah, I think I'll go with option number three.

No comments:

Post a Comment